Speak
by beautifully twisted
Summary: Isabella Swan was raped and now out of control. No one knows her secret. Renee cant take it anymore and ships Bella off to Forks with Charlie. Where Bella has to face her rapist everday at school. Bella trys to act tough. Can she handle the pressure?ExB
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Memories

BPOV

I woke up screaming. Tears were in my eyes and running down my cheeks. My mom didn't even come in and check on me anymore. Yeah she was worried and all she is my mom, but I wouldn't open up to her. That frustrated her alot. I could tell. She would try and guess and ask "are you scared of the dark, sweetie?" I would nod my head to whatever she said and she would leave angry. I started having the same nightmare every single night since I was sixteen. It had to do with a a guy. James Butler. Taking my virginity - forcefully. In forks I was visiting Charlie aka my dad. I prefer to call him 'chief '.

_-Flash back-_

_It was summer, a party, and I was drinking. I wasn't wasted or anything, Just tipsy. I was exhausted. I decided I would go to bed scine I was spending the night with Jessica Stanly - the girl having the party. I went up to her room and started removing my clothes. I had my shirt off. I had a black bra on. And I had a nice sized chest. I made to mistakes that night:_

_1. Drinking_

_2. Being alone_

_I heard the door open and someone stumble in. I stiffened. I hurriedly put back on my shirt and turned around. I saw a black figure makes its way to me. When the person got in the moonlight I could see it was James. He had been a good friend to e. I let out a sigh._

_"Damn James! You scared me." I laughed. _

_"Did I now? Can I make it up to you?" He asked seductively. _

_"What did you have in mind?" I asked oblivious to his meanings in the words_

_"It has to do with a bed. You on it and me on top of you."_

_"I'll pass. Your drunk and I am too. Besides I'm so tired."_

_"Well let me excite you."_

_"No." James took three steps and was towering over me. He grabbed my arms a pulled me to his body. He kissed me. I could smell the beer and feel the anger in the kiss. I was scared. His tongue made its way in my mouth. I bit down hard and he let me go, but grabbed me back just as quickly. _

_"You stupid bitch." He yelled. No one could hear him over the music. And they couldnt her my cries of pain. James hit me. Im not talking about a small slap. Im talking about a hard angry fist. He threw me down on the bed and ripped off my shirt. _

_"Take off your bra. Its to sexy to rip." He commanded. After thirty seconds of quiet he hit me again and again. He took off my bra. He hit me again. He pulled his shirt and pants off. And rubbed his hands all over my body. I felt so dirty. As his hands trailed up my body he gave my breast a rough squeeze. He took off my pants and underwear. I didn't try and fight him anymore. I just sat there. He keep pushing and pushing at my lifeless form. Harder and harder. I felt my ego shatter my heart crumble and my soul shrivel up. He got off of me and I started to sob. How could some one do this to me? How could someone I trusted be a monster? James was my friend. Yea WAS! James walked back over to me and pulled my naked form to his body.I immediately shut up. Just then the door slammed opened and Jessica and Lauren were standing in the doorway.I looked at Jessica and she was glaring at us._

_"James and Bella? WTF! You had sex in MY room and on MY bed!" She screamed. "Bella get dressed and you and James need to leave." She said. She and Lauren slammed the door. James was now walking to the door and turned around to face me and said " If you tell anyone I'll do it again and then kill you."_

_-End of flashback-_

I had taught myself not to cry. But I would slip up every now and then.I looked at the clock it was 7:30 I should be at school but I had been skipping it everyday. I went down stairs and my mom looked at me and smiled. She suddenly frowned.

"Bella honey, your school called and said you hadnt been to school since the first day, That was four weeks ago. Do you want to tell me why?" She sounded calm so I answered truthfully.

"No." It was simple I didn't go because I was scared of everyone there epically the guys. I didn't recognize my voice anymore it always sounded monotone.

"What?" She yelled. So much for calm.

" I said no."

"I miss my Bella! Where did my kind, quiet, smart baby girl go?" She asked on the verge of tears.

"She died." I said with no emotion. (Big shocker there) My mom started crying. I wish I could comfort her. I couldn't I didn't know how. I was crushed beyond repare that night in Jessica's room.

"Bella. I can't take your behaviour anymore. I wish you would tell me what your nightmares were about but you wont same more than a one syllable word response. Your moving to Forks with Charlie." She cried.

"Your just going to give up on me like that?" I yelled.

"I didn't give up on you Bella, you gave up on yourself." She said.

"I hate you!" I screamed. In the next hour I was on a plane with my bag of clothes. My mom said she would send my boxes of whatever later.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Forks

BPOV

I was standing in front of Charlies two story house after a three hour plane ride and a uncomfortable hour with Charlie in the car. I only brought two duffel bags of clothes and a box of Cd's. With one trip back to the car I was done, I was up in my room. Memories flooded my Brain. I remembered the one after he raped me and drifted into a flashback

_I was getting dressed. I was processing what had just happened. At first I thought it was a nightmare and then I felt pain and horrible throbbing in my stomach. I need to get out of here i thought. I went down the stairs and I could tell everyone was staring at me Jessica and Lauren probably told everyone that I had sex with James not that its true. Well it is but not in the way they are thinking. its not like I wanted this. I wanted love I wanted to have sex with someone I loved. I didn't love James. No it was like I was a chewed piece of gum thrown on the floor that no one wanted because the flavor was gone.I walked home. It might have been a mile or two but I didn't really pay attention and being tipsy and clumsy at the same time doesn't go great together. I would find myself falling over everything. I made it home and it was two in the morning being a quiet as possible I went to the kitchen. Before I could presses what I was doing I felt a tingle in my wrist and I saw blood and a knife. I cant believe I just did that. I ran upstairs and balled my eyes out._

I sunk to the floor. I would have to see _him_tomorrow. But I didn't cry, I would be strong and not let him get to me. If I thought life was hell before then I was mistaken. Great. I woke up screaming. Charlie came running in my room. I was crying. That dream was a replay of the party night I saw him raping me over and over.

"Bella! Whats wrong?" Charlie panicked.

"Nightmare." I spoke softly.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

"OK. I'm going back to bed." I looked at the clock it was 2:30. Sleep! Bella Sleep. I laid there for about 10 minutes. And drifted in unconicnous. I heard a distant beep beep.It felt like I didn't even sleep a wink. I got up and went to the shower, it had been over 8 weeks of my rape but I still felt the pain. It was clearly there in my chest. It haunted me during my nights its not going to haunt my days.

**AN: Sorry its short oh yea and the name speak I got it from the movie called speak. Kristen is young I agree and she hasnt grown into her ears. Idc she is still very pretty. You should watch the movie. oh I'm posting a new chapter since this is short. Tell me what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

(Bella's outfit on my page.)

Bella's outfit and car on my page. I kind of made Bella rich.

Chapter 3 trouble maker

BPOV

I went to my room to pick out my outfit. I wanted to look fierce. I wanted to look like a goddess. I wanted to look like I wasn't fucked up as much as I was on the inside. I went into my closet and decided on a Von Dutch original a button up jean jacket with a white tank top under it with a matching jean skirt that stopped mid-thigh and ruffled a little at the end. My shoes where withe pumps. I did a double take of the figure in the mirror I cant believe it I actually looked well...hot. I slightly straighted my hair I didn't want it to look really flat so I let some natural wave stay. My make up was simple I put a little light green brown eyeshadow on. I outlined my bottom and top lids. The makeup only my me look better I had a healthy natural glow. I was damn sexy on the outside and I looked put together. Truth is I'm completely broken. I walked down stairs and how surprisingly I didn't trip. I lost my clumsy gein.

"Hey pumpkin." Charlie said.

"Hello daddy, how did you sleep." I asked.

"I slept fine and you?"

"I slept okay."

"Well I have to go. Come outside I have a surprise for you." I walked outside and started jumping up and down I was so happy I didn't have to take the limo. It was my car. My Ferrari it was orange almost red in a way. I loved to drive fast in this small town it had everyone talking. I quickly got in and drove off to school. I looked to see how fast I was going. 80 mph. hm it only felt like 50 to me. I pulled into the schools parking lot. It took me a total of 5 minutes to get there. The lot wasn't that crowded so I decided on the spot in front of the shiny Volvo. It was the second nicest car to mine. I looked around and saw beat up trucks and mini van. I guess my car was to flashy. That's okay I liked to stand out. I went into the building that said Front office and followed the hallway until I found a door that said Attendance office. I walked in and it was all nice and warm.

"Hello. I'm Isabella Swan and I'm new here." I said to the lady that's name said Ms. Cope.

"Oh hi deary. Yes let me get your timetable. Also here is a school map. I hope you like it here." She said in a nice voice. I flashed her a smile and said. " I know I will." and as soon as I stepped out of the room I added a "not." This is gonna suck. I went to a Literature class with Mr. Moody (AN: that's my favorite teacher right there.) Then it hit me :

I want all these things I have never wanted before. I have _feelings _I have never have before. I wonder what the double meaning is? It has to be something. I was looking around. I'm in a odd room where there are green walls that make me think of throw up, these walls trap me in a never escaping cage. After all the agonizing months away from schools it never fails to remind me of being a prisoner. At least the walls should be a different color blue,red,yellow? What color? Why is it so hard to pick a color? Its not rocket science. Blue? No that makes you think of sad. Blue is the color of tears unless your like me and cant produce a tear. Red? Of course not, its violent and makes the craving for blood stronger well, at least for me. Yellow, YES! Yellow would make me think of the sun, the warm sun.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 evil man

BPOV

I was getting evil stares from all the girls. What did they think I wanted their boyfriends? I don't ever want a guy looking at me again like he did. I don't want a guy to ever touch me again like he did. I hate that evil man with my broken heart and crushed soul. He deserves to burn in hell with no mercy. I'm sick with hate for that bastard. I feel so dirty that I try to scrub my skin in the shower that I think the memories will go away but it only leaves me with raw skin. My hate is a disease. A worthless one at that. The bell rang and snapped me back to reality which was lunch. I walked from Spanish class with a shy girl who's name I forgotten. When I walked to her table my breath stopped and my fist clenched. The parasite was in my presence. I had to bite my tongue not to barf right then and there. I was fixing to run out and say I got sick and go home.

You cant run forever Isabella. Part of me said.

You can for today. Its your first day. Give yourself a break. The other said

You run today. He'll thinks he won. Oh that had me. I'm not running. NEVER. If I do he'll think he can get away with it. He wont to this to other girls.

"Who's this hottie?" James smiled at me. Ugh. I'm going to be sick.

"Oh I'm hurt _James." _I sneered his name. He looked so confused. I guess Charlie didn't tell anyone I was coming. Is that why I got so many stares?

"Okay. Why?" He asked. God this man is stupid.

"Isabella Swan." He turned very pale. Paler than me. I take it he remembers.

"Remember me?" I taunted. I walked two steps and was by this monster. "I'm going to make your life hell. Just like you made mine." I whispered. With that I walked out and I saw five topaz eyes on me. When I walked by I just smiled at them. They were very attractive. I suddenly felt scared and terrified of James. What have I done? He'll want payback for making him look bad. Whatever he does cant be worse than what he already did to me. I sighed. I'm so broken. And I hate it. I feel weak. This irritates me a lot. Soon my fear is replaced with anger. I wish I could put that damn monster through my pain.

EPOV

I looked at the door and saw an angle. I almost fell out of my chair. I tried to tune into her mind. Damn she was beautiful. I think she even beat Rosalie. I noticed I couldn't read her mind. This mad me mad. Jasper looked at me confused. "I cant read the new girls mind. Can you feel her emotions?" I asked. I concentrated on Jasper. He felt her fear. Her unbearable pain. Was all these big emotions coming from this tiny angle? She feels so helpless but wants to be strong. "Cullen Clan. Isabella Swan. The new girl. Listen to her conversation. They want to fill her in on the 'hotties'." I knew I was lying I just wanted them to notice her sadness and might want to understand why I want to help her. And make her happy.

Isabella's conversation:

"Who's this hottie?" James gushed. He thought she was hott? What she is gorgeous. Im gonna throw up.

"Oh I'm hurt James." She was pissed. WOW! She's hot when she's angry. But still scary.

"um why?" He asked.

"Isabella swan." She said. His thoughts were screaming in his head. 'OH GOD. WHY? I NEVER THOUGHT SHE WOULD COME AND HAUNT ME! THIS IS GONNA RUIN ME! IM GONNA MAKE HER KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT!' God damn I'm gonna get a headache. He's worse than Alice.

Remember me?" She taunted. She went to him and whispered in his ear "Im going to make your life a living hell just like you did mine." With that she left. Why couldn't I hear her. James was thinking 'IM GONNA KILL HER JUST LIKE I SAID. THAT BITCH.' Oh I hope her tries to touch her. I'll break him in half. She walked by us and smiled. Jasper was looking like he was in the worse pain with her ragging emotions.

'Fear. Pain. So much of it. Whatever happened to her was horrible. She is so broken.oh anger. The most hate, she is a wreck, poor human.' Jasper thought. That day forward I'm making it my job to restore this angle.

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	5. Chapter 5

* * *

Chapter 5

BPOV

**Sorry, I don't want to confuse anyone but I didn't like the fight scene with Bella and James Im re-writing it. Oh and Im going to tell you something about one of my ideas for the future chapters to come……okay so you know how Bella is out watching the Cullen's play baseball…well Im thinking that Victoria comes to Forks and changes James and he wants to hunt down Bella. Tell me what you think. Oh yeah I own nothing but the plot.**

**Walk with me**

I walked past the most five amazingly gorgeous people in the world. They were so pale, so well, different. They don't seem real. Just a pleasant scene in this horrible never ending nightmare. I stumbled out of the cafeteria and made it to the girls washroom. I feel so weak….unbelievable weakness. I feel as if I could shatter into a million pieces and wont be able to restore myself. I really need someone I can trust and talk to, I just need a hug. I need to feel safe and wanted not dirty and broken. I hate that evil man for putting my through this. I wish I could hurt him like he hurt me. But Im no evil creature, I shall not harm a hair on him even after want he did to me.

I walked out of the washroom and checked the hall clocks, it read 2:45 hmm Ill be five minutes early but who cares.. Ill listen to my ipod or something. I made my way to Biology. I had a strange feeling I was going to like this class. I walked in and a man, who I figured was the teacher was at his desk, I walked over to him and pulled out my slip I needed him to sign.

"Excuse me, are you Mr. Varner." (I forgot his name. Sorry) I asked softly.

"Yes, I am. I take it your Isabella Swan." He said flatly.

"Yes, but I go by Bella. Here you are." I said while handing him my slip. He took it and signed it sloppily, he wrote worse than a doctor.

"Where do I sit?" I asked. I was trying to keep some acid out of my voice but I had a leak after asking where.

"You can sit at the back table in the middle aisle." He replied. I walked down the aisle and managed to trip on thin air. Why? Im getting my clumsiness back. Great. I heard Mr. Varner chuckle lightly. Ohh, if this man wasn't a teacher…. I'd….I'd- well I don't know what, but it wouldn't be pleasant.

I sat in the seat closes to me and turned on my Ipod. I flipped it to the band BED light for Blue Eyes - Walk with me (YOU WILL LOVE THIS SONG TRUST ME LISTEN TO IT ON PROJECT PLAYLIST)

I closed my eyes and let the music flow through me.

_I walk up the staircase and through the door  
To find the light has beat me there  
It stretched across her hair  
And in her eyes and she just smiles  
And it's all she needs to say  
And I feel fine  
All the moments in my life have lead to this_

My mouth forfeits my words  
Dedication song to her

Will you walk with me  
Cause I can't see  
Just where I'm meant to be  
Replay the scene over and over  
And never change a thing  
Ohh will you walk with me

She walked down the hallway and through the door  
To find the light is waiting there  
And its more than I can bare to look away  
And I just smile it's all I need to say  
To make her see that it's moments just like these  
That I need

My mouth forfeits my words  
She may not be mine but I'm all hers

Will you walk with me  
Cause I can't see  
Just where I'm meant to be  
Replay the scene over and over  
And never change a thing  
Ohh will you walk with me

Will you walk with me  
Cause I can't see  
Just where I'm meant to be  
Replay the scene over and over  
And never change a thing

Ohh will you walk with me (will you walk)  
Cause I can't see just where I'm meant to be (just where I'm meant to be)  
Replay the scene (over and over) over and over  
And never change a thing  
Ohh will you walk with me

I opened my eyes to see the stupid teacher gone and the room filling up with teenagers. Some had happy faces to be here but most looked like they were dreaded it. I was in advance bio in Phoenix not like I went but I still knew what I was doing. Last to come in was a beautiful bronze haired boy that looked my age, he was tall maybe 6'3 and lanky but not to lanky he had some hard lean muscle to him. He looked like a greek god. He came down the aisle and sat down right next to me. He stiffened a little, what did I smell bad? What? OMG! Is there a pimple the size of Mount. Zit More on my face again? I giggled slightly and saw this god look at me from the corner of my eye.

"Okay class as you all already know we have a new addition to the school, Isabella Swan. Isabella, would you like to tell us about yourself?"

"I liked to be called _Bella_, I like to read and I love classical music, I moved here from Phoenix, Arizona. I lived there with my mom. And now I live here." I said in a rush. I had my hands on the blacktop by now, it was starting to get hot.

Some girl had enough balls to ask " Why did you move here?"

My hands clenched into fist but the dumb girl didn't notice, or acted like she didn't notice, and keep pushing "Well?" She probed.

"I moved here so I could see my dad." I said through gritted teeth.

All through class I could feel this god like man staring at me threw the corner of his eye.

_Does he like me or something? _I asked myself.

_No idiot Bella, no one could love you, your broken. _I told myself. The next hour of gym flew by because coach clap let me sit out. Finally the last bell rung and I almost ran to my truck. I got in and made my way home.

When I reached my destination I decided to cook for Charlie. I had learned the night before that he could burn water if I left him to cooking. This would defiantly be my job from now on.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

BPOV

The past week flew by and things started becoming routine for me. For some reason I noticed Edward was not there this whole week. Strange how I always thought of him, but it keeps me not thinking of sad things. Every day this week I was harassed by James and every day I would break a little more. Did my broken heart not enough? Did he have to shatter my soul, my eyes, my nose, my skull? Was I not enough? No, I'll never be enough for anyone.

It was time to wake up and go to hell- I mean school. I swear if I died right now, and went to hell, I'd be happy. Happiness makes the whole dying thing bearable. (NEW MOON.) Dying is my only escape. It's my outlet. My escape to this hell. I got up and got dressed. I put on a miniskirt, with a Kiss my lucky Charms black shirt with my black converse with pink and green robots on them. (I really did wear this to school today.) I walked down stairs. Charlie was already gone so I walked out the door and headed to hell.

I pulled up to the school in five minutes later. They parking lot wasn't to crowed. I parked three cars away from Edward. Wait? Edward? Was he back? I did a double take and sure enough there the Greek god stood, leaning against his shiny silver car. By now I noticed it was snowing. Ugh. Its only October. Stupid rainy forks. I hate you.

I saw James walk up to me. Shit!! I looked over at Edward and he looked like he was having a dilemma. I looked back at James and saw he was in front of me and close. His body was touching me. I backed into my car and he pressed his body against mine. I was terrified. That night replayed in my mind. I remember my pain and anger and I focused on just being angry. It consumed me.

"Get the hell off me." I said in a deadly tone. I was sure my eyes were black as night. That happens when I'm angry. I don't know why though.

"I just wanted you to let you know had a dream of you last night." He said. I didn't reply. So he went on "That night me and you were at that party, and we went upstairs. Remember?" He asked.

"Oh, you forgot the part where you raped me!" I whisper yelled.

"Oh is that what rape is? When you said no and no? I thought it meant yes." He said with not guilt. This was satin son.

"I hope you burn in hell." I said to him and walked away. I had 20 minutes to kill so I went to the music room. I became playing to and sing. (I really love music, that's why they are all in my stories.)

(This is Paramore – We are Broken. I do not own. I changed some lyrics.)

I am outside  
And I've been waiting for the sun  
With my wide eyes  
I've seen worlds that don't belong  
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize  
Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside  
Your arms like towers  
Tower over me

Yeah  
'Cause I am broken  
What must we do to restore  
Our innocence  
And oh, the promise I adored  
Give us life again  
'Cause we just wanna be whole

Lock the doors  
Cause I'd like to capture this voice  
It came to me tonight  
So everyone will have a choice  
And under red lights  
I'll show myself it wasn't forged  
I'm at war  
I live like this

Keep me safe inside  
Your arms like towers  
Tower over me

'Cause I am broken  
What must I do to restore  
Our innocence  
And oh, the promise we adored  
Give us life again  
'Cause we just wanna be whole

Tower over me  
Tower over me

And I'll take the truth at any cost

'Cause I am broken  
What must we do to restore  
My innocence  
And oh, the promise we adored  
Give me life again  
'Cause I just wanna be whole

I heard the door open and close. I turned around and saw a beautiful blonde with gold eyes.

"Hello. I'm Rosalie." She said in a nice tone.

"Yea, okay." I said.

"Your Isabella Swan, right?" She asked.

"Bella." I corrected.

"I noticed that you don't like James," I stiffened at the name, "I think I know what happened."

"You don't know anything." I whispered.

"I think he raped you." She whispered back.

"Yea? Screw you." I got up and started to walk away.

"Your not alone." She called. I stopped. Walked back to her and sat down.

"Are you screwing with me?" I asked.

"No. I was rapped a while ago," she said looking down, "not by James. But I could just tell how you freeze up with him and fidget."

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"No."

"When does it stop?"

"Excuse me?"

"The pain, the ashamed feeling, the unworthy feeling, the dirty feeling, the broke heart in me?" I asked, I was crying now. The tears coming never wanted to stop.

"I don't know, how long were you…. You know?"

"Four months."

"That bastard!"

"I know." Then it went black.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

BPOV

I'm answering your questions:

siriusblacklover – you made a really good point. Bella dresses in that way because she wants to fit in and make it seem where James thinks he can't bring her down. Did that Clear it up? If it didn't then let me know.

Lady Saruman – Rose and Bella are going to become close, Rose wants to help her, because she remembers that in her human life.

5253Racer

Maren Mitchell Um Rose doesn't feel right saying 'Rape' because it makes Bella distant.

redtwiheart12 No, Mike or Edward aren't the rapist, but Mike will come into the story. James is the rapist. He will come in the scene where they play baseball (Victoria changed him) Ill get to the reason later. And then Bella will go to Phoenix. The idea will come to understanding.

AN: OMG, I had so much homework, so I'm thinking that Ill be putting off my stories until the weekends but if I have time I will update them. I'm not going to put a new chapter up every day. I will every other day, I take turns on my stories.

I was waking up from my dark hole that I so badly wanted to crawl back into. I never wanted to surface again. In this so called dark 'hole' I was safe, no haunting memories, pain, or thoughts. I was numb from my entire mind. And I sure as hell loved it. I wouldn't wake up screaming in the 'hole'. I wouldn't have to face James every single day in this 'hole' of a place. Sweet, huh?

I came into reality, that I didn't want. I looked up and saw Rose across the room, with Edward. Rose left the room. No! Edward turned around to me and walked towards me. I stopped breathing. He seemed to notice and stopped a ways away from me. He looked beyond upset. I immediately felt guilty. Why?

"I'm sorry, Its not you its… I can't." I said.

"Its okay, Bella. Really." He said, but his eyes told a different story.

"I guess you can come a little closer. I don't know why, but I feel safe with you. Reassured you know?" I said.

"You shouldn't. I'm not a good friend to you." He sighed.

"Then why are you here?" I snapped sharply.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay." Edward said looking down.

"Oh, I get it." I yelled.

He flinched. "What is it you get Swan?"

"You feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity. Now get out." I yelled.

"No that's not why-" he started to say but I cut him off with my piercing scream.

Rose was at the door in a second. She looked pissed off and not at me.

"Edward.Get.Out." She growled.

He did as she said and left me and rose there in silence.

She was the first to break it she walked over to me and said……..


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

RPOV

I heard Bella scream. We all thought Edward couldn't control his self and he bit her. I'm usually the slowest in the family, but hearing Bella cry out made me faster. I was in the room before anyone had time to react. I saw Bella in the corner of the room and Edward looking hurt.

He must be mad I came in time before he could take advantage of her and drink her dry. He growled softly and I walked up to him and said "Get out." I could see that he wasn't so I thought _Edward, look at her. You don't have to be jasper to see she is horrified. Rape tears you apart and you don't know who is good or bad. She well come around but I need the guys meaning you to, just to back off. Please. It best for Bella. _

He walked to the door and he was gone. I decided to tell Bella EVERYTHING. She needed to know that she could trust me. And people you trust don't lie about who or what they are.

"Bella, I need to tell you something. Everything. My rape. My life. My secrets."

"Okay, Rosalie, but can I go first. I don't want to back out."

"Yea, Bella. Call me Rose. You're going to probably be my best friend."

I saw tears in her eyes. And I knew she was happy to hear me say that.

"Thanks. I need a friend." She sighed. "well, It happened this summer. A couple a months ago. It was Jessica's party. I was drinking, but I wasn't drunk. I know what I wanted and it wasn't him. I was staying over with Jess, and I was so tired. I went up stairs to lay down. Stupid huh? James he came in. Slapped and punched me for awhile. Then he was inside of me. He keep going harder and harder with each time. I begged, screamed and cried. I tried to fight back but he would just give me worst. By then I stopped feeling, my body shut down from the pain. I was lost in my head, not really there anymore." She stopped, and started sobbing but continued "He broke my heart, I can't give anyone my heart, its to damaged. No one likes sloppy seconds. After that I was a handful. I would drink, do drugs, harm myself, I would rub my skin raw trying to make myself clean again, but I was everlasting dirty. I am dirty, nothing to special anyways."

"No Bella, look at me, your beautiful. Smart, funny, your everything. He cant take that away from you. He is the one dirty. The one Evil!" I told her firmly. She sobbed again and I caught her in a hug. I hated humans, but Bella hit a soft spot with me and not just because I feel pity for her. She is like a long lost sister I never had. Sure I had Alice, but she just didn't get me. She was hyper, while I was mellow. Bouncy while I was slumping. I love Alice, but we didn't mesh as while as I and Bella.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

BPOV

Okay, 13 reviews and chapter 11 goes up immediately, Or you wait until I have more time.

I stopped crying and held my head up high; I was going to find me again. I will be old Bella again. I was never lost, just drifted into the back of my mind. I feel still dirty, but more clean having someone to talk to. I got it all off my chest, and that is what I needed to get Old Bella resurfaced.

"Bella?" Rose asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Mhhmm?" I said, not finding my voice.

"I need to tell you something." She hesitated before continuing "I including my family are vampires. I was raped over 50 years ago, by my fiancé and his friends. He and the others left me to die on the winter ground. Carlisle found me and bit me. They pain was unreal. I suffered for three days in pain. When I was changed, I wanted revenge. I killed all of them starting with his acquaintances one by one. When I got to him, he was insane. It made my pain dull. It felt so good to see him suffer. Bella, I don't want you to be frightened that my family might harm you. I wouldn't dare let them or I EVER harms you."

I sat there, taking it all in. For an odd reason I wasn't scared. I was happy, happy that she trusted me with her secret. I never had a kind of friend like Rose. I wanted to be her friend.

"Bella!" Rose called loudly.

"You don't need to shout! Gezz I was thinking."

"Are you not scared? Why aren't you running away from me?"

"No, I'm not scared. How could I be?"

She looked at me like I was mental.

"Because I suck blood."

"ROSEALIE HALE! YOU HURT POOR HUMANS!" I screamed at her. By my surprise she laughed. Full out laughed.

"This isn't funny."

"Silly human, I don't eat humans. I eat animals; if I didn't do you think I would be able to go to school? Be in this very room with you?"

"I guess not."

There was a knock on the door. Edward stepped in.

"Bella is it okay if I talk to you alone?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

BPOV

WOW. you guys really wanted a new chapter in two days I've gotten 19 reviews. I want to think everyone for sticking with my story and reviewing. Thanks so much. But I really didn't mean it to be that short, I wrote a Bella and Edward conversation in the last chapter but I forgot to save it. So that pissed me off.

10 reviews and another chapter. Sorry its short, but I have homework.

"um...sure." I said nervously. What did he want? He doesn't want to hurt me?

Before Rose walked out of the room she gave him a look that clearly said 'you hurt her and I will personal rip you to pieces.'

Edward walked over to me a sat down. "Bella, I want you to know that I would never dream of hurting you. I will never hurt you. You don't need to be afraid of me for what I am."

"Edward, Im not afraid of you, or what you are.. I just have... trusting issues."

"How can you not be scared of me? I'm a monster, I killed people. They might have been rapist, murders, but they were still people. They had a soul."

"I disagree."

"How so?"

"If I could, I would kill rapist, murders, child abusers, all of them. Does that make me a monster?" I didn't wait for him to answer. "Edward, your not a monster. Those kind of people are. Them not you. Edward, that was your fate, if you try to fight that. you will lose, you'll either lose what was intended or more. Either way its a no win kinda thing. You have to capture yourself and don't let you slip away. If you slip away your nothing, there is nothing left. And Edward, your yourself, you can admit to your wrongs and make them right, your not a monster." I took a breath. Wow, what a speech.

"Bella, you are the most weirdest human I've ever met." Edward told me.

"Well your the weirdest vampire I ever met."

"I'm the only vampire you met."

"That you know of." I giggled. He chuckled with me.

"Can I ask you some5thing Bella?"

"Yea. Go ahead."

"If you knew James was here, why did you move here?" There was no rudeness in his voice, just curiosity.

"Well, after I was raped, I was out of control. Drinking, drugs, partying. I wasn't me. I was lost. My mom didn't know what to do. She never thought I was raped, and I was never going to tell her. She was so happy pretending her and Phil were a happy family, I wasn't going to mess it up for her. So now I'm here."

"Bella, you are amazing."

"Nah. Not really. I have done alot of wrong things, I just want to be me."

"You will. I believe in you."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

BPOV

10 reviews another chapter.

Alice and Rose took me shopping before I had to go home.

Edward and Rose helped me alot, and Alice even took me shopping. I had only known them for a total of three day, but it felt like a life time. Who knew friends could be a great start of finding who you are?

Sometimes I wish Edward and I could be more. They way he looks, talks, acts, everything about him makes me like him more. But who am I kidding, he is just a friend. Yeah, he is just a friend I happen to be in love with. Man, life is a bitch. Do I really love him? Yes, I think so, I never had this for anyone.

"Hey Bella." Edward said coming though my window.

"Hey Edward. Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"What the hell are you doing in my room with Charlie right next door?" I whisper yelled.

"I had to see you. I wanted to ask you something." He came and set next to me on my bed. I wasnt scared of Edward he would never hurt me.

"Bella, I think I love you." He said.

"What?"

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love everything about you. Your smile, your eyes, the way you scrunch your nose when something smells gross, I love you so much just to have known you for a couple of days."

"WOW! Edward I-"

"Its okay if you dont liove me back, I just needed to tell you."

"Edward, I-"

"Because how could an angle like you love me?" I clampped a hand over his mouth.

"Edward, I love you." I said fastly before he had time to interupt me.

Edward looked like a kid at christmas. He hugged me tightly.

"Bella?"

"mhmm?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"I would love to."

"Bella, love?"

The nickname 'love' sent sparks though me.

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Ididnt have time to get my answer out because I crashed my lips to his.

We kissed until I needed to come up for air.

"You should get some sleep. We have school tomorrow."

"Okay. Will you stay?"

"Ofcourse."

I crawled under the covers and into Edwards arms. It felt like I was meant to be there. I molded to his chest perfectly.

"Goodnight love." He said and kissed me on the forehead.

"Night Edward." And I went in to a dream.


	12. Chapter 12

I woke up that morning with Edward by my side. He was so cute. I cant believe he is mine. It happened all so fast, I think I might want to take this slower. (AN: I read some reviews and I didn't realize how fast I was going, so okay, Im going to take it slow.)

"Edward, I think we should take this slower, look I do love you and all but I know nothing about you, like your favorite time of the day, or your favorite color, and all."

"Okay Bella."

"So favorite color?" I asked.

"Red. You?" He asked.

"Brown."

"Brown? Why would it be Brown?"

"Because Brown is warm, everything here is covered with green. I miss brown."

"Yea, brown is warm."

The rest of the day went on like that until we received a phone from Alice.

After Edward hung up, he looked at me and asked "Bella, do you want to go watch my family play baseball?"  
"Yea, sure.

VPOV (Victoria)

(Three days before Edward and Bella go play baseball)

Im so bored, I need some entertainment. Without planning I took off in the direction to a tiny town Forks, I ran through a meadow but stopped when I saw a boy about my age; 18 and he was cruising very loudly.

"Stupid Isabella swan! I will kill her and that Cullen boy!" Wait, Cullen? Isnt that the surname Laurant told me about.

"Hello, Boy. Come here." I called to him.

"What?" He asked rudely.

"What do you have against the Cullen's?"

"They are so stupid, I just want them to die."

"I can help you with that, but first-" I dove and bit his neck, he crumpled to the ground and I sat with him, for three days of pain.


	13. Chapter 13

Okay, So its been a while since I updated. I'm sorry, but Jewl and I have been 'busy'. LOL! But he is going on a family trip for a couple of weeks so you guys don't have to share me.

So Victoria has changed James into a Vampire. James and Victoria are getting revenge on the Cullens in this chapter. Bella has become more whole. She is starting to feel better about herself.

The story Speak, will be ending in the next three chapters. So if you want a sequel please tell me. But it might be a while because I want a Beta really badly. Email me and

if your interested. I'll ask you a few questions and see if I like you. The person I pick for beta will basically be telling me when to have a new chapter to one of my stories and read over it to see if its good enough.

Okay. Back to story.

BPOV

Tonight I was going to go play baseball with Edwards family. Okay so maybe Im not going to play, but Im going to watch. I think that is the safest for everyone. In the past couple of days, Edward and I have become really close, we were inseparable. I really felt better about myself. I felt _whole_, I know Bella Swan, a rape victim, whole. Charlie had noticed my new behaviour, but he didnt question it, that which I was glad.

I walked down stairs to where Charlie was watching a football game.

"Hey dad." I called.

"Yes Bells?" charlie replied.

"Um, well dad I have a date tonight, and he wants to meet you before we go out." I asked in a hurry.

Charlie looked a little on game and asked "Who is it?"

"Edward Cullen." I smiled, just saying his name made me happy.

"Out of the question." Charlie yelled/ I flinched back.

"Dad, I thought you liked the Cullens." I was very confused.

"I do, Im sure he is a nice boy, but he is to old for you." Charlie said.

"Dad, Edward is in my grade."

"Oh, I thought you meant that big one. Oh well, okay I guess. When is he coming to get you?" Charlie asked.

The door bell rung before I could answer.

"now." I told him. I walked to the door and charlie followed closely behind.

"Hello, Bella, Mr. Swan." Edward said politely. "Its nice to meet you." Edward held his hand out and Charlie shook it, grunting.

"Hello, Edwin." Charlie said.

"Edward." I whispered to Charlie, but knowing Edward heard me.

"I mean Edward. So where do you you plan on taking Bella?" Charlie asked.

"Well, I was hoping she would come and play baseball with my family." Edward said.

"Bella, and baseball?" Charlie snorted. I stepped on his foot, roughly.

"Ow,Bella." Charlie exclaimed. I just smirked and Edward was holding back laughter.

"You kids have fun, dont be out to late Bella." Charlie told us. I heard Charlie mutter something about girls being the devil.

I just laughed. "Bye dad."

"Bella, who knew you had it in you." Edward joked as he opened the car door for me.

(SKIP THEY ARE PLAYING BASEBALL)

Edwards ran over to me, and asked, "So Bella how do you like the game."

"Well lets just say that I will never be able to sit through a regular baseball game."

Everyone chuckled. Alice just zoned out.

"STOP" She yelled. "Two vampires are coming, and its not to play nicely."

They all growled and stood in front of me.

"Bella, Im so sorry." Edward said.

"no Edward, its not your fault." I told him.

"Yes Bella it is my fault, Im sorry I couldnt protect you from what I am." He said. He looked so pained, I longed to comfort him but he froze and looked the other way, where two vampires emerged.

As I got closer, I reconized one of them, as James, my rapist.

A cry of agony escaped my lips.

Rose looked at me questioningly.

"That's him, my rapist." I whispered brokenly.

Rose growled furiously. She looked like she was ready to take them both on.

"So Bella Swan, we meet again." James said.


	14. Chapter 14

BPOV

A sound ecsapes me lips "No." It was soft, but I was sure everyone heard it.

The Cullens had formed a wall, blocking my sight of James, only Rose stayed by my side.

"What was that dear Isabella?" James laughed. He didnt wait for me to say anything he countinued. "Isabell, baby, we know your not going to scream you didnt scream before. You liked it. I think I know what you want." He took a few steps and the Cullens erupted in fuirous growls of warning. I had tears streaming by now, but I still held my ground, my head was high, and face cold.

"I said no." I said a little louder.

"What was that?" James taunted. I knew he heard me, he knew that I knew he had heard me, he was trying to break me in anyway possible, but he couldnt, I had something that I didnt before. The Cullens. The Cullens helped me emotionally, and made where I knew it was okay to be happy.

Something exploded in me. "I SAID NO!!" I screamed very loudly. The Cullens, James and the red head cringed from how loud it was.

"I'll get you stupid little bitch." James charged at me, but was pounced on by Edward and Rose. The other Cullens had their eyes one the red head, seeing this she fled. I had a strange filling that I would see her again.

IT happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding. James Buttler raped me in August when I was drunk and too young to know what was happening. It wasnt my fault. He hurt me. It wasnt my fault. And Im not going to let it kill me. I can grow.

Okay, review please. Tell me if I should continuie.


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